The Gulf Between the SPL & EPL

As a Celtic fan in my mid- twenties, one of my favourite footballing memories is of the night John Hartson smashed an absolute rocket of a shot past a despairing Jerzy Dudek at Anfield to put the seal on a brilliant UEFA Cup victory. Fans of a slightly older vintage than myself hold the 1970 European Cup victory over Leeds in front of 136505 spectators in similar regard. For Rangers supporters, once again Leeds were the opposition in a genuine ‘Battle of Britain’ during the 92-93 season, the Scots were victorious and the images and emotions from that tie are forever ingrained in the conscience of the Rangers support.

Scottish clubs have more often than not, emerged victorious from cross border skirmishes. The Scottish mentality ensures that these victories are both savoured and celebrated, in fact the only time Scottish football fans ever come close to uniting as one and backing their traditional rivals is when the opposition is from south of Hadrians Wall (and I don’t mean Berwick Rangers).

On Thursday evening the latest instalment of the ‘Battle of Britain’ series took place at Tynecastle. In the maroon corner, representing the SPL, stood Heart of Midlothian, in the white corner we had Tottenham Hotspur of the EPL. I shall extend my use of a boxing analogy to say that if the referee could have stopped it he would have. It was probably the finest example of one team outclassing another in every area of the pitch I have ever seen. The 0-5 scoreline, if anything flattered the Scottish side.

Those of us who had dreamed of the glamorous visitors from down south being sent home, if not vanquished then at least with pride wounded were left crestfallen. Many “experts” had predicted a tough time for Spurs, and expressed surprise at the ease of victory. The question is though, should the fact that ‘the best of the rest’ from England’s top division are so far ahead of their Scottish equivalent be a surprise to anyone but the most blinkered of supporters?

If I was informed that Bill Gates has a bigger television in his living room than I do I would not feel surprise, it would make perfect sense, he’s minted and I’m skint. He can afford material extravagancies while I cannot. The EPL is far stronger, far superior to the SPL purely because it has the money to buy expensive trinkets.

Gareth Bale, the Spurs left winger is valued at £40m and is often (rather generously) described as a genuinely world class player, he is in monetary terms the most valuable player in their side. His opposite number at Hearts is also his team’s biggest on-field financial asset, but while Bale would command an astronomical fee, Andrew Driver could probably be purchased for something in the region of £2m.

The thing is though, the two leagues actually share the same problems, the lack of young players making the move from academy, to first team, to national honours is of equal concern either side of the border. Administration is a genuine issue for both EPL and SPL clubs. You could also throw in the ownership and running of clubs by some suspect individuals and the dwindling of match day attendances.

If you are being harsh (and its Monday so I’m going to be) you could say both the EPL and SPL are turds, the only difference being, in England their turd is more aesthetically pleasing having been polished with the Sky Sports billions.

If the SPL continues on its current path, the days of sending the English home ‘tae think again’ are over. The financial gulf is now too prohibitive to ever be bridged. If Scotland could somehow make its club game more competitive and focus on developing home-grown talent then there is some hope that those days could one day return. Until then it should be no surprise when English teams, who can afford to shop at Harrods, outclass Scottish sides whose budgets only stretch to the Asda value range.

Back to domestic matters, and Celtic fans went into this weekend dreaming of a 5 point lead over their Glasgow rivals, however Rangers produced their most impressive display of the fledgling McCoist reign resulting in a 3-0 win at Fir Park, while Celtic to the fury of their manager, missed yet another penalty and numerous other chances before going down 1-0 to St Johnstone. A hoped for 5 point cushion has become a 1 point deficit.

After their European exploits, Hearts will probably be satisfied with their 0-0 draw at Kilmarnock. Dundee United were surprisingly beaten 1-0 at home by Dunfermline, who have made an impressive start to their return to the top division. St Mirren reinforced the belief that Danny Lennon’s men have made real progress this year with a 2-1 win at Easter Road. Aberdeen finally managed to put the ball in the oppositions net (twice!) and were rewarded with the 3 points in their Pittodrie clash with Inverness Caley.

Mid-week sees the second legs of the Europa League qualifiers take place. For what it’s worth I expect Rangers to go through relatively comfortably, Celtic are surely in for a nervy night in Switzerland but I think they may just squeeze through (as long as it doesn’t go to penalties), I think I can say without fear of contradiction that Hearts are going out.

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Mad Vlad Strikes Again

The good thing about being a fan of Scottish football is that off-field events often make up for the lack of entertainment the actual process of twenty two men hoofing a ball around a park provides. This of course is in no small part due to “Mad Vlad” Romanov, the chairman of Hearts.

After a mixed season last year, Hearts were active in the transfer market over the summer months, bringing in experienced, proven SPL players. Fans of the Gorgie club approached the new season with a cautious optimism, their early displays did nothing to dispel the thought that Hearts would once again gain the dubious honour of being, ‘best of the rest’. What we had all overlooked though, was that it had been almost two weeks since Vlad had done anything a bit mental. You do sometimes get the impression with Romanov that he’s worried we’ll forget just how “Mad” he truly is. The furore over his backing, then sacking, then quietly loaning out to Kaunas (the Lithuanian team he “owns”) of convicted sex offender Craig Thompson had just died down when he decided that after 3 games, and an all-round encouraging start to the season, it was time for another new manager. Anyone questioning this move was apparently a “fool” or an “idiot”.

A new manager was in place, seemingly before Jim Jeffries and Billy Brown had time to clear their desks, never mind organise some goodbye drinks. Paolo Sergio seems to have spent the majority of his career in Portugal getting sacked, so should feel right at home (but would be advised not get to comfy) in one of the ‘hottest’ hot seats in football. Now apparently Romanov has decided he quite fancies winning the title this year, this can only end well.

In Romanov’s defence, Jim Jeffries was nowhere near as popular amongst the Hearts support as some would have you believe, also like all the best of this new breed of “sugar daddies”, Romanov craves “sexy football” from his team and I doubt even their wives would associate Jeffries and Brown with the word “sexy”.

The new regime at Tynecastle got off to a cracking start as they progressed to the final qualifying stages of the Europa League, thus setting up a mouth-watering “Battle of Britain” with Tottenham. Although instead of a glamorous tie against the crème de la crème of the EPL in the nation’s capital, recent events in the London borough of Tottenham (and Harry Redknapp’s obvious disdain for the tournament) have turned it into a trip into a warzone, to get beaten by Spurs reserves.

Rangers crashed out of Europe at the hands of the (not so) mighty Malmo. This game looks like it was Madjid Bougherra’s final one in the royal blue, and he used it to confirm that he had now completed his transition from asset to liability. Steven Whittaker should still be apologising to his team mates, and fans, after his utter stupidity (in getting sent off for retaliation) gave Rangers a mountain to climb that they really could have done without.

In the SPL this week, it was ‘raining goals’ at East End Park as Dunfermline and Inverness shared the spoils in a six goal thriller, at Tannadice an entertaining 1-1 draw between Dundee United and St Mirren was overshadowed by a triple leg break suffered by United captain Scott Severin, Motherwell continued their good form with a win over Paolo Sergio’s Hearts, in a game where both Keith Lasley of Motherwell and Ian Black of Hearts were sent off (more on Black later). Aberdeen’s main objective last season seemed to be providing as much of a boost to Celtic’s goal difference as they possibly could, so they surprised everyone on Sunday by not only losing by just one goal to nil, but by keeping 11 men on the park and not even giving away a penalty. Whilst this signals some progress at Pittodrie, they have now gone 3 full games without even looking like they might fancy scoring an actual goal.

The celebrations of the Celtic support were muted somewhat after news filtered through that last year’s player of the year, Emillio Izzaguire, had suffered a broken ankle that would rule him out for 4-6 months.

The injuries suffered by both Izzaguire and Severin are huge blows to both the players and their respective clubs, and everyone wishes them a full and speedy recovery. One slight positive is that both injuries were sustained in perfectly fair challenges, and there can be no demonising of a guilty party, as is so often the case.

This brings me onto Ian Black, the Hearts midfielder. He was dismissed in the game at Fir Park for a tackle that was a combination of late, reckless and high. Ian Black is a viscous, talentless cheat and has no right to call himself a footballer, there is no place in the game for “players” such as him and the sooner he disappears the better for everyone. If you think I am being unfair then you have either never seen Black play, or are a member of his immediate family.

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Adam Gets His Reward

The Barclays (BEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD EVER!!!!) Premier League kicked off at the weekend. There were many new acquisitions on show, brought to England from the four corners of the globe, from the bargain basement to the eye wateringly indulgent. In amongst them all though was the worlds’ oldest looking 25 year old, a slightly rotund individual hailing from the far flung shores of Dundee, Charlie Adam took his place in the Liverpool midfield as the Anfield crowd welcomed in the new season.

His debut went well, he was one of Liverpool’s better players providing an assist for Luis Suarez to open the scoring. The Kop were appreciative of his efforts and already some feel his presence may be key to Liverpool’s fortunes this season.

Rewind 3 years to when Adam was still at his boyhood club Rangers. Anyone professing the opinion that Adam would one day play for one of England’s most iconic clubs would have been in danger of being sectioned under the mental health act. These days when Adam looks up and prepares to launch one of his trademark 60 yard passes, a ripple of excitement and anticipation flows through the crowd, back in his Rangers days the imminent execution of a similar pass would more often  than not be greeted by groans from the Iborx faithful.

Adam’s confidence was shot in his final months at Ibrox. The pressure of playing for one of the Glasgow giants had proven too much (he is of course not alone in suffering this affliction). Often in these cases the player slides down the Scottish football ladder never coming close to fulfilling their potential. Adam though took a chance on a move to Blackpool with their ‘love him or hate him’ manager Ian Holloway. Holloway believed in him, embraced his talents and accepted his limitations. The decision to join Blackpool has of course eventually led to his place in the Liverpool midfield via a nomination for player of the year in the aforementioned BEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD EVER!!!

Adam is now a regular in the Scotland squad, Derek Riordan is not, neither is Kris Boyd, Garry O’Conner may one day force his way back in but at this moment his tally of caps is paltry. There are many, many more examples of players having failed to hit the heights their talents could have facilitated. Sometimes it is due to bad luck, sometimes the players’ attitude means they think they have made it when they still have much to learn (I’m looking at you Gary O’Conner). More often than not though, potential is wasted by bad decisions.

It seems that two youngsters, Gregg Wylde from Rangers and Islam Feruz from Celtic may be on their way south to the land of milk and honey that is the EPL. Whether these moves work out or not is anyone’s guess. However any player with a decision to make should consider the case of Adam who made the right move, (despite its lack of glamour) and is now playing at the highest level, then contrast it with the likes of Derek Riordan who now plays in China or Kris Boyd now plying his trade in a Turkish league riddled with corruption. It’s difficult, but young footballers would be well advised to consider the effects tomorrow, of the career choices they make today.

There was plenty of action in the SPL this weekend. Rangers secured victory in Inverness in a game they dominated but required two penalties to see off the Highlanders.” It’s a conspiracy” cry some in the Celtic support, and while at least one of the awards was clearly incorrect, Rangers did have a goal harshly ruled out earlier in the game. Incompetence is more a more plausible explanation than favouritism. Celtic were impressive, but slightly flattered by the 5-1 win over Dundee United who showed signs they should be able to cope with a raft of summer departures. Dunfermline picked up their first 3 point haul of the season with a 1-0 win over St Johnstone. Motherwell’s title charge continued with a last minute winner at St Mirren. The tabloids will be dusting off the ‘three horse race’ headlines not used since George Burley’s reign at Hearts, especially if ‘Well can continue their impressive start when the Champions visit at the weekend. Hearts continued their impressive start under their new manager with a comfortable 3-0 win over Aberdeen, Craig Browns men are sticking manfully to their plan of refusing to engage the opposition goalkeeper in any way shape or form. They may come to regret this. Kenny Sheils won his first game as Kilmarnock manager since taking charge at the back end of last season, the game shown live on ESPN was an absolute cracker and a brilliant advert for Scottish football, the 4-1 win over Hibs was by far the best game shown on British telly over the weekend until Real Madrid and Barcelona, who seemed to have taken inspiration from the Ayrshire sides passing out from the back strategy, provided some competition for that award.

Three SPL clubs are competing in Europe on Thursday, so next week’s column may be less cheery than usual.

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A Scotsman's view on the World Cup Draw

Our Road to Rio is Mapped Out


In a ceremony that in keeping with FIFA traditions flirted heavily with farce, Craig Levein was shown the size of his task in guiding the nation to world footballs A list party for the first time in 16 years (yes it really has been that long).

Scotland were drawn out of the hat in Group A, alongside; Croatia, Serbia, Belgium, Macedonia and Wales. As per usual with our national side re-action has varied from the wildly over-optimistic, (one punter on the Daily Record website claimed if we didn’t win this group we should hang our heads in shame) to our default, giving up before we’ve started defeatism.

In reality the draw could have been better but it certainly could have been much worse. In previous campaigns we have been paired with at least one so called “superpower”. This time however there is no Spain, or Italy standing in the way of us actually having our own team to support at a major tournament, rather than whoever is taking their turn at beating the English at penalties.

Points gained away from Glasgow look likely to be at premium. And if you’re not of the sunniest of dispositions, it could be argued that we may struggle to pick up anything other than air miles from our travels. Incidentally, with Croatia, Serbia and Montenegro all present in the group, the re-formation of Yugoslavia would not only save on travel costs but would ease fixture congestion greatly, I accept the potential political, and international security ramifications of this move may just outweigh the footballing benefits.

I do not possess the attention span for a long and detailed analysis of each of our opponents, (and I’m guessing neither do you) but here are a few brief thoughts on what we are up against.

Croatia are the top seeds, no-longer the power they once were they are still a technically proficient outfit, with the brilliant Modric pulling the strings and Rangers star Jelavic a familiar face in attack, they will fancy their chances, as the saying goes.

Serbia came out of pot two, and while there were certainly stronger teams in there with them, they are still a strong and experienced side. Manchester United’s Captain Nemanja Vidic is a formidable presence in defence and in Milos Krasic they have an attacking midfielder in the mould of Pavel Nedved who he effectively replaced at Juventus. Unless we somehow conjure up a centre half with even a modicum of aerial ability the giant Zigic may just wreak utter havoc (it is however just as likely that he turns in a performance that makes Chris Iwelumo look like Maradonna).

Belgium is the last team we wanted from pot 3. They can boast a world class defensive unit, consisting of Vermaelen, Vertonghen and Kompany. How these three will cope with Kenny Miller, running around quite quickly but with very little purpose, or James McFadden, dribbling into a corner, losing the ball and then going in the huff, only time will tell. The names Defour, De Bruyne, Hazard and Lukaku may only be familiar to those of us who spend their days playing football manager, (Lukaku on loan was a great bit of business until that bloody update ruined everything!) but by the time the qualifying campaign kicks off they may very well be household names.

Macedonia’s star man is Pandev of Italian giants Internazionale who, while undoubtedly a good player is also a complete headcase. If we are lucky he will have gone on one of his regular strikes by the time we face his side. It is imperative we get the scheduling of this game correct, unlike the last time when we travelled to Skopje, wilted in the heat and succumbed to a 1-0 reverse.

The Welsh national side had to endure the humiliation of being seeded below our old friends the Faroes for this draw, however they were clearly the strongest side in pot 6. The Arsenal midfielder Ramsey captains the side and is a class act, depending on who you ask, Gareth Bale is either one of the very best players in the world, or a man who has made a career out of being able to kick the ball and then run very fast after it, either way, if he can run rings around the Brazilian Maicon then the chances are he will cause Alan Hutton a few problems.

All in all I am cautiously optimistic. Each team looks capable of taking points off the others and if we can turn Hampden into a venue to be feared once again, we may find ourselves in a position to capitalise on slip ups elsewhere. It does concern me however that this group does seem set up for yet another “glorious failure.”

It was a quiet weekend in the SPL, with Celtic competing in the Dublin Super Cup, (where the use of the word Super was stretched to the very limits of credibility) Rangers took advantage with a win in Perth that those with a positive outlook on life would describe as routine, (laboured is probably closer to the truth) nevertheless Ally McCoist will be relieved to get a win under his belt before the crucial 2nd leg of Rangers European tie against Malmo. There were single goal away wins for both Dundee United and Hibs, against Hearts and Inverness respectively, while Kilmarnock and Motherwell played out a relatively entertaining goalless draw.

Two final thought from the World Cup draw. If someone at the English FA could tell their Scottish counterparts what you have to do to be allowed to hand pick your qualifying group then that would be ace. They could hire Berti Vogts as manager and still negotiate their way past that lot! Also I watched the draw unfold on twitter, and the majority of tweets in my feed seemed to be jokes about Ronaldo and his rather rotund appearance. Now there is a picture of Ronnie, during the draw holding up the word ‘Hungary’ that some have used as a rather cruel joke but I refuse to stoop to such depths just for a cheap laugh, and anyway this should not be how we remember O Fenomeno, so I urge you to make a visit to youtube to relive some of his best moments. Enjoy.

Do Ryanair fly direct to Rio?

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SPL the First Weekend

Thoughts from SPL matchday 1

So the first round of SPL fixtures have been completed with a week of July still to go. If you are looking for a detailed analysis of each fixture, player ratings etc. then you’re reading the wrong blog. I will however share some of my thoughts from the first weekend of the SPL.

First things first, at no point did any of the punters attempt to storm the dugout and attack the opposition’s manager, as far as we’re aware no manager/former politician/lawyer received a viable explosive device alongside their gas bill, no-one was forced to resign due to incompetence, dishonesty or for forwarding offensive e-mails. This surely signals a collective enlightenment within Scottish society (either that or the nutters are still in Benidorm stocking up on cheap fags).

In terms of matters on the pitch a few things stood out. Hearts outstanding first half display at Ibrox earned a share of the spoils and turned Rangers Flag Day party into a bit of a damp squib. The limitations within the Rangers squad have been well documented, and Saturdays display will serve as a reminder to new owner, Craig Whyte that the rebuilding of Rangers cannot be done on the cheap. While media coverage is usually focussed on incoming players there is no doubt that ensuring Alan McGregor remains at the club is the most important piece of business McCoist will conduct this summer. The Scotland ‘keeper was once again outstanding, and probably saved his team from a rare Ibrox reverse.

Celtic got off to a satisfying start with a victory at Easter Road over a dogged but limited Hibs. If Neil Lennon can keep star men Beram Kayal and Emiliano Izaguirre out of the clutches of their Premier League suitors, along with the mooted purchase of a new no1 and someone to provide a different option upfront, then the Celtic support will be confident that the Championship flag will be hoisted in the East in 12 months’ time.

Motherwell recorded an impressive win over Inverness and will do well to keep a hold of the talented Jamie Murphy who rounded off a flowing team move to open his account for the season. Also in that game Keith Lasley fired in an early contender for goal of the season only to be outdone by Kilmarnock debutant Rory Mckeown’s stunner against Dundee United.

All in all a relatively positive start to the SPL campaign then. I however have stumbled across an even greater reason for optimism, and it concerns the rather unlikely combination of the Scotland national side and South American silverware.

On Sunday night I settled down to watch the final of the Copa America, this is a tournament where putting the ball in the net has been maybe not expressly forbidden, but at the very least frowned upon, and the main objective for the majority of the teams seemed to be to repeatedly kick the opposition until an actual fight breaks out. Now any Scottish football aficionados will tell you these are qualities naturally present in many who have pulled on the dark blue jersey. Combine this with pitches that would make even the Fir Park groundsman blush and it becomes ever clearer that the Copa America is the natural home of the Scottish national side.

The Copa consists of the ten CONMEBOL sides plus two invitees, one of which is always Mexico. It’s time to start a campaign for that last place in the 2015 tournament. European football is heavy on passing and light on thuggery, our lack of success in international football is not a failing of tactics or technique it is purely a geographical issue. In a competition where the emphasis was on fouls rather than the more traditional goals we would surely excel. The players would bloody love it as well; imagine the money Kenny Miller would save on fake tan! And next to the Paraguayan midfielder Walter Ortigoza, Charlie Adam looks like the poster boy for Slimfast.

If we want to add to our Kirin cup success of 2006 (remember that?) then forget the Euro’s, we’ll still have a punt at the World Cup but the Copa 2015 is the way to go. The campaign starts here.

There is one moment from the weekend’s action that deserves special attention. It involved Dundee United’s mercurial/infuriating/utterly pish (delete as appropriate) attacker Danny Swanson. This young man managed to sum up every facet of his game in about 8 seconds of action. First his attempt at a clipping a free kick over the Kilmarnock wall barely reached shin height (infuriating) he then swept a sublime half volley into the bottom corner from the rebound (brilliant) then during his celebration removed his shirt (not very clever) the next phase of his celebration then involved the internationally accepted, ‘that’s my name’ back to the crowd point at name and number move, however having removed his shirt our Danny was left pointing to the back of his black vest (crowd left either laughing or shaking head in disbelief). I think instead of the murmurs of discontent from the Tannadice faithful the next time Danny’s on field decision ends a promising move, we should all just be thankful he’s managed to get out of bed and find his way to the stadium in time for kick off.

Football’s back and, for now at least I’m bloody delighted.

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Scottish 'Fitba Reforms

Radical reforms are needed to revive Scottish football

As Scottish football gears up for another season, with a week still to go before we even reach August, reform is still very much in the air.

Scotland is without a doubt utterly obsessed with its national pastime. More people attend SPL games per head of population than any other league in the world and our footballing capital, Glasgow can boast 3 football specific stadiums with capacities north of 50,000, only Istanbul can match this.

Combine this level of fanaticism, with the crucial role played by our “wee” nation during footballs infant years, (“football came from Scotland” is the Tartan Army’s retort to football’s coming home) and logically we should have a thriving, absorbing spectacle that is the envy of more populous nations.

The reality though is quite different. The national side which used to compete regularly (if not successfully) at World and European competitions, has not been to a major tournament since France ’98, a whole generation of tartan army foot soldiers have been denied the opportunity to spend two weeks semi-naked, and vomiting while simultaneously trying to convince any passing Dutch/Swedish female fans to join them in the city centre fountain they have claimed in the name of the Kingdom of Fife tartan army. In terms of club football, our UEFA co-efficient is not only low, but is heading toward the, you’d be as well not bothering level, alongside the other Celtic leagues.

Now UEFA and FIFA statistics on team performance should be taken with a pinch of salt (England are apparently the 4^th best international side in the world!) and to be honest what I find more damming is I cannot remember the last time I heard someone (excluding SFA/SPL employees) saying something positive about Scottish football.

No wonder then that reform is Scottish football’s “buzzword”.  Our former First Minister and (more impressively?) ex East Fife player, Henry McLeish, was recently charged with conducting a review into Scottish football and coming up with a series of recommendations aimed at returning some of our past glories. The first part of the review focussed on youth development and raised many pertinent issues, some which are beginning to be acted upon (the appointment of the Dutchman Mark Votte as SFA performance director is in particular a step in the right direction). In the second phase of the review Mr McLeish focussed on the ‘here and now’, this is where the arguments have started, and the media spotlight has shone brightest.

A lot of what is said in this second part of the report makes sense. The re-introduction of a winter break would be welcomed by most, and a reduction in the number of administrative bodies is long overdue.  What has really piqued the interest of fans up and down the country though, is the proposals referring to league re-construction.

Two leagues of ten, SPL1 and SPL2, a league of fourteen, a league of sixteen, relegation playoffs, championship playoffs, split, no split. Throw this combination of words and numbers together in any way you see fit and what you get will probably match one of the ideas debated by Scottish Footballs governing bodies. McLeish’s report favoured an SPL1 and 2 each with 10 teams where playoffs to decide relegation/promotion would be utilised. At the time of writing this seems to have been rejected (although to be honest it’s bloody hard to keep up).

The plan to save our national game seems to involve little more than adjusting a number somewhere between ten and the mid-teens. Numbers are important in this debate however, namely 5.2million (Scotland’s population) and forty two (the number of League clubs in Scotland). Put bluntly there are too many clubs competing for the attention (and cash) of a small and dwindling audience. Scottish football is being weighted down by clubs that really have no business being part of the league set-up.

There are far too many clubs who are allowed to cling onto existence purely because they are football clubs. There financial results make them unviable as businesses and they do very little to enthuse their supports (the most recent average attendance figures for div3 I could find showed under 500 passed through the gates per game). The problem is that these clubs can do no more than ‘tread water’, occasionally a ‘sugar daddy’ will come along, plough in some funds and the club will have its moment in the sun only to fall spectacularly back to earth, remember both Livingston and Gretna have represented Scotland in European competition in recent years, Gretna no longer exist and Livingston are in the midst of a long slog through the divisions. Most clubs in Scotland have nothing to play for and there is nothing to encourage them to strive for anything beyond the status-quo.

We should be discussing a top division of 16 teams with a 30 game season, a second division of 10 teams with a play-off system between the two leagues. The lower leagues could be regionalised (as McLeish proposes) but they should be run in summer months when the top two leagues are dormant, Celtic and Rangers should be encouraged to enter their reserve teams in these regional leagues (Celtic in one, Rangers in the other, swapping every year). Attendances, revenue and ambition would all increase for those at the bottom of the footballing pyramid, combine this with a play-off system between the winners of the two regional divisions (Celtic and Rangers B teams would not be allowed to win promotion) and the bottom placed second division side and almost every club would have something to play for, and a more importantly a reason to improve.

Alongside these proposals we should be trying to make SPL TV a viable alternative to Sky and ESPN and the ‘pocket change’ TV deal we were forced into. Clubs that are failing should be left to die or even more controversially encouraged to merge, this is undoubtedly unpopular but surely one thriving club is better for an area than one mediocre and one on its knees? (The city of Dundee I’m looking at you).

Scottish football must be streamlined, incompetence should not be tolerated and equally innovation must be encouraged, and rewarded. We can no longer afford to carry the deadweight that is dragging the game down. It is time for difficult decisions to be made, without pandering to sentimentality.

Once the current proposals are debated and watered down they will amount to no more than re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Scotland’s population is the most obese in Europe (must be all those ‘Killie pies and East End Park bridies) and our national game is similarly overburdened, it’s time for a crash diet.

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